The most common fear that clients have during a divorce is fear of the unknown.
That fear can manifest itself in a number of ways:
- Fearful of not having control over decision making.
- How money is spent or how much money there is available to spend?
- How much time will they get to spend with the kids?
- Can they continue to live in the same area?
- Can the kids go to the same schools?
- Will I have to relinquish what has been my role as primary caretaker of my children? Many parents have taken time out from careers, and even forfeited their careers to do the important job of raising the kids.
- Conversely, many parents have pursued careers and now find themselves wondering how that will impact their chances to be fully participating parents in the two-household context.
Starting with the first consultation, I try to address the issues related to clients’ fears.
I try to help clients understand that the best way to guide them is if I understand their goals, their concerns about their spouse, their kids, the financial lives. That usually includes understanding their biggest fears.
Failing to identify and address those fears can wreak havoc in the divorce process resulting in bad behaviors or bad decisions. Fear is real in a divorce and it is okay to name those things that you are worried about. By addressing those fears early in the process there is an opportunity for a better divorce settlement.